So, I'm really struggling with some things and can't decide if I'm being selfish or my feelings are normal. Some very close friends of mine are about to move a long way away and I find myself feeling angry as the time grows close and that's not what I expected to feel. I mean - anger, why in the world would I feel mad at them for moving?!?!
I think part of it is that my daughter adores their daughter and is heartbroken at seeing her move so far away. This is the first time she's had to experience this type of loss and her sensitive little heart is just breaking. As a mom, I think my first reaction to my daughter having her heart broken is a need to "fix it" and this time I just can't do that. So now I find myself feeling mad that anyone would dare do something that hurts her - irrational, I know, but I actually feel mad! I find myself drawing away from my friends at a time when it seems logical that I should want to spend as much time with them as possible. It's not an intentional thing - I just feel myself breaking that bond - it's a weird feeling. I even feel a little uncomfortable in their presence - like there's a proverbial "elephant in the room". It almost seems like I yearn for their move date to come so that this part will be over and we can all begin to move on. You know - I think this is the first time I've ever had a really good friend to move so far away, come to think of it - I guess my not-so-sensitive heart is breaking a little, too and I'm not quite sure how to handle the emotions that I'm feeling.
The other reason I feel this anger and frustration is that in my spirit I don't feel that this is the right thing for them to do. So what - you say, it's not your life, what right do you have to say one way or other? I don't feel like I can discuss this with them, because, again, who am I to determine what they should do with their life? On the other hand, I feel like I'm not doing the right thing as their friend to sit back and watch them make what I feel is a mistake. I guess it's similar to watching a friend marry someone that you know is wrong for them - I did that once and my friend went through a tough divorce years later. Do I dare to think that I know what's right for everyone else? Of course not, I really don't, but I'm struggling with keeping my mouth shut when my spirit is SCREAMING "wrong move - stop - turn back!"
I would welcome any sage advice or thoughts... Bottom line - I love this family a lot and don't want to see them move away - so do you think that's why my spirit is screaming "stop" or is it possible that I'm discerning something real?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
There is a lot of negativity in the church and world about feelings. We're told to ignore them. But I say, the feelings we have are OUR feelings for a reason. Justified or not, you're feeling this way for a reason. It isn't abnormal or even bad to feel this way. Now, acting on our feelings, that is a totally seperate matter. Sometimes we just have to decide to swollow the feeling and not act on it.
Hang in there...
Lots of prayer girl! Noone can answer those questions but God. I can give an opinion but that is all it would be. But let them know what an important part they play in your life, and let them know you will do anything in your power to help them attain happiness in theirs. Then just be there to help as they will allow you. After all, if they do go, and then discover it is a mistake, you want to have an open welcoming door for them to return to.
Love you!
Post a Comment